I'm getting married soon!!!
J is enforcing a bedtime right now until the wedding because I have turned into quite the diva. The stress of my job plus wedding has had me making quite a few poor choices with my words. :'( I was supposed to be in bed by 11 tonight, but thus, here I am, at 12:30am still up.
I can't sleep. I have permanent 'nervous stomach' aka butterflies in my tummy. Although these butterflies feel less like lightweight little insects and a lot more like giant dinosaurs.
Got the spanking of a lifetime last night. I went into a bridal craze and cussed J out while he was at work. I knew well that he couldn't say anything to me, because there were people around him at work and he obviously remains vanilla. I got some stern texts that night and as soon as he got home in the morning the issue was addressed. I got the purple paddle, which is my LEAST favorite implement we have. I completely lost count of how many I got but all I know is that my butt went from white to red to purple and then back to white and I went completely numb from my tailbone to mid-thigh. Then I got the wooden rod an additional 30 or so whacks. Those left deep welts in my butt, like inside the muscle. It was so bad.
I was physically shaking and was winded from the pain for about 20 minutes afterwards. It was absolutely terrible. But I also know what I did was probably the worst thing I have EVER done and J completely did not deserve it. I was so out of line, it was disgusting.
I'm hoping that punishment will keep me set until the wedding.
Good night everyone.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Whomp Whomp
Alright so I really suck at updating. I kept getting emails asking me to update, so here I am.
First, I am making a commitment to update at least once a week. That's my new goal to myself. :) Let's see if I have the self-discipline to actually follow through.
We have been in a whirlwind of stress, work, family and wedding planning. J has been working SO much to save up his PTO for wedding events. He worked 160hours in two weeks. I have been working a lot as well. I feel so bad for our dogs, they are getting the short end of the stick. :( Poor babies. But I have been sneaking Mocha(our wild one) to the local doggie daycare for some exercise on random days. Shhh don't tell Jake. He doesn't know. :) He'd freak because it costs $20 every time she goes.
My bachlorette party was two weekends ago. It was A BLAST. A "Blast in a glass!" as Snooki would say. We went to a bar in down town Detroit and spent the entire night dancing and hanging out with two other bachlorette parties that were there. I was grounded from drinking any alcohol but J made a special exception for this night. :) I was happy.
Life has been super stressful right now with the wedding coming up and with all the time we have spent working. The morning after my bachlorette party I woke up and thought "Oh shit, I have three weeks till my wedding and about a year of planning to do" I went into complete bridezilla panic mode. I have even pulled 2 all nighters working on stuff. It's pretty crazy. I got punished for pulling the all nighter Jake knows about. I shouldn't have done it and it ruined the small amount of time we had together. Got about 80 with the wooden paddle. I was definitely in tears.
The wedding is all coming together, only a few minor details to do and I will be all done. :) :) :)
The DD couple that has helped us through that last few months will be coming to the wedding an Carolyn will actually be IN my wedding!! :)
J has really helped keep me level headed. I have gotten quite a few stern looks in public recently. J has recently become more comfortable with his role in public. We obviously stay vanilla but people are becoming more aware of our roles as Dominate/submissive and I'm happy they are realizing and are accpeting of that.
Goodnight for now!
First, I am making a commitment to update at least once a week. That's my new goal to myself. :) Let's see if I have the self-discipline to actually follow through.
We have been in a whirlwind of stress, work, family and wedding planning. J has been working SO much to save up his PTO for wedding events. He worked 160hours in two weeks. I have been working a lot as well. I feel so bad for our dogs, they are getting the short end of the stick. :( Poor babies. But I have been sneaking Mocha(our wild one) to the local doggie daycare for some exercise on random days. Shhh don't tell Jake. He doesn't know. :) He'd freak because it costs $20 every time she goes.
My bachlorette party was two weekends ago. It was A BLAST. A "Blast in a glass!" as Snooki would say. We went to a bar in down town Detroit and spent the entire night dancing and hanging out with two other bachlorette parties that were there. I was grounded from drinking any alcohol but J made a special exception for this night. :) I was happy.
Life has been super stressful right now with the wedding coming up and with all the time we have spent working. The morning after my bachlorette party I woke up and thought "Oh shit, I have three weeks till my wedding and about a year of planning to do" I went into complete bridezilla panic mode. I have even pulled 2 all nighters working on stuff. It's pretty crazy. I got punished for pulling the all nighter Jake knows about. I shouldn't have done it and it ruined the small amount of time we had together. Got about 80 with the wooden paddle. I was definitely in tears.
The wedding is all coming together, only a few minor details to do and I will be all done. :) :) :)
The DD couple that has helped us through that last few months will be coming to the wedding an Carolyn will actually be IN my wedding!! :)
J has really helped keep me level headed. I have gotten quite a few stern looks in public recently. J has recently become more comfortable with his role in public. We obviously stay vanilla but people are becoming more aware of our roles as Dominate/submissive and I'm happy they are realizing and are accpeting of that.
Goodnight for now!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Getting things straight
Hello Everyone-
My wedding shower is this Sunday. I'm very excited! I can't wait to see all my friends and family. But I'm nervous, I hate being the center of attention, it makes me really uncomfortable. Especially since I recently lost a lot of weight, every time I haven't seen someone in a long time they spend the first 5 minutes in shock of how I look. So I know when everyone sees me there's going to be a lot of fuss about my weight and then constant questions about the wedding.
So life has been has been a little different lately. As I become more stressed out with the upcoming wedding shower, new job and the wedding itself, Jake has been getting a lot more strict. I have been very high-strung lately which leads me to making rash decisions and being quite snippy.
I have been spanked more times in the last week and a half than I can even remember, but I'm pretty sure it's been almost every day, sometimes twice a day. But as my title says, I think I'm finally getting on track. :) Slowly I'm becoming a little bit more sane as I cross off tasks on my to-do list.
I love DD so much, it has gotten me through a really stressful time of my life. If we were a 'vanilla' couple, I know that there would be so many fights and this household would be very high stress. I'm so lucky to have my fiance. :)
My wedding shower is this Sunday. I'm very excited! I can't wait to see all my friends and family. But I'm nervous, I hate being the center of attention, it makes me really uncomfortable. Especially since I recently lost a lot of weight, every time I haven't seen someone in a long time they spend the first 5 minutes in shock of how I look. So I know when everyone sees me there's going to be a lot of fuss about my weight and then constant questions about the wedding.
So life has been has been a little different lately. As I become more stressed out with the upcoming wedding shower, new job and the wedding itself, Jake has been getting a lot more strict. I have been very high-strung lately which leads me to making rash decisions and being quite snippy.
I have been spanked more times in the last week and a half than I can even remember, but I'm pretty sure it's been almost every day, sometimes twice a day. But as my title says, I think I'm finally getting on track. :) Slowly I'm becoming a little bit more sane as I cross off tasks on my to-do list.
I love DD so much, it has gotten me through a really stressful time of my life. If we were a 'vanilla' couple, I know that there would be so many fights and this household would be very high stress. I'm so lucky to have my fiance. :)
Monday, January 2, 2012
Life Update / Converting a Vanilla
Hello!
So I obviously have been slacking. I had major surgery October 10th, after that we went to Vegas and with my health and vacation, I let this slip. :) Whoops.
Holidays were good, very busy, but fun! I got a new Pistol for Christmas from my family, it is amazing. I went shooting with it for the first time yesterday, it definitely needs to be broken in!
Converting a Vanilla:
Converting a vanilla to a spanko life is a lot of work. :) When I originally was trying to figure out how to introduce this concept to Jake, I was only thinking of the things *he* would have to do. I never thought about myself and all the changes I would have to make to be a better submissive and fiance.
As we learn more and more about this lifestyle, we grow and change as a couple. It's been great. Jake has been doing a lot of his own research and reading on D/s and with that, he has become a much stronger and loving Dominate.
We have a very specific set of rules written out, and the exact punishment they will bring. It's a very clear concept... if I chose to do/not do something, I'm actively choosing the consequence. I really enjoy the clarity, whereas I know a lot of Dominates would probably prefer to choose consequences as situations came. But it works for us.
We've become good friends with another D/s couple. Unfortunately they live very far away from us, in West Virginia. But I have learned a lot from Carolyn and hopefully Jake can learn from her husband. And hopefully after the wedding we can make a trip down there to see them. You can find their blog here. She keeps it updated a lot more than I do! :)
For now, my thoughts are scrambled and my brain is sleepy. I'll update soon.
So I obviously have been slacking. I had major surgery October 10th, after that we went to Vegas and with my health and vacation, I let this slip. :) Whoops.
Holidays were good, very busy, but fun! I got a new Pistol for Christmas from my family, it is amazing. I went shooting with it for the first time yesterday, it definitely needs to be broken in!
Converting a Vanilla:
Converting a vanilla to a spanko life is a lot of work. :) When I originally was trying to figure out how to introduce this concept to Jake, I was only thinking of the things *he* would have to do. I never thought about myself and all the changes I would have to make to be a better submissive and fiance.
As we learn more and more about this lifestyle, we grow and change as a couple. It's been great. Jake has been doing a lot of his own research and reading on D/s and with that, he has become a much stronger and loving Dominate.
We have a very specific set of rules written out, and the exact punishment they will bring. It's a very clear concept... if I chose to do/not do something, I'm actively choosing the consequence. I really enjoy the clarity, whereas I know a lot of Dominates would probably prefer to choose consequences as situations came. But it works for us.
We've become good friends with another D/s couple. Unfortunately they live very far away from us, in West Virginia. But I have learned a lot from Carolyn and hopefully Jake can learn from her husband. And hopefully after the wedding we can make a trip down there to see them. You can find their blog here. She keeps it updated a lot more than I do! :)
For now, my thoughts are scrambled and my brain is sleepy. I'll update soon.
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