Meet me at the alter in your white dress!

I'm getting married soon!!!

J is enforcing a bedtime right now until the wedding because I have turned into quite the diva. The stress of my job plus wedding has had me making quite a few poor choices with my words. :'( I was supposed to be in bed by 11 tonight, but thus, here I am, at 12:30am still up.

I can't sleep. I have permanent 'nervous stomach' aka butterflies in my tummy. Although these butterflies feel less like lightweight little insects and a lot more like giant dinosaurs.

Got the spanking of a lifetime last night. I went into a bridal craze and cussed J out while he was at work. I knew well that he couldn't say anything to me, because there were people around him at work and he obviously remains vanilla. I got some stern texts that night and as soon as he got home in the morning the issue was addressed. I got the purple paddle, which is my LEAST favorite implement we have. I completely lost count of how many I got but all I know is that my butt went from white to red to purple and then back to white and I went completely numb from my tailbone to mid-thigh. Then I got the wooden rod an additional 30 or so whacks. Those left deep welts in my butt, like inside the muscle. It was so bad.

I was physically shaking and was winded from the pain for about 20 minutes afterwards. It was absolutely terrible. But I also know what I did was probably the worst thing I have EVER done and J completely did not deserve it. I was so out of line, it was disgusting.

I'm hoping that punishment will keep me set until the wedding.

Good night everyone.

Whomp Whomp

Alright so I really suck at updating. I kept getting emails asking me to update, so here I am.

First, I am making a commitment to update at least once a week. That's my new goal to myself. :) Let's see if I have the self-discipline to actually follow through.

We have been in a whirlwind of stress, work, family and wedding planning. J has been working SO much to save up his PTO for wedding events. He worked 160hours in two weeks. I have been working a lot as well. I feel so bad for our dogs, they are getting the short end of the stick. :( Poor babies. But I have been sneaking Mocha(our wild one) to the local doggie daycare for some exercise on random days. Shhh don't tell Jake. He doesn't know. :) He'd freak because it costs $20 every time she goes.

My bachlorette party was two weekends ago. It was A BLAST. A "Blast in a glass!" as Snooki would say. We went to a bar in down town Detroit and spent the entire night dancing and hanging out with two other bachlorette parties that were there. I was grounded from drinking any alcohol but J made a special exception for this night. :) I was happy.

Life has been super stressful right now with the wedding coming up and with all the time we have spent working. The morning after my bachlorette party I woke up and thought "Oh shit, I have three weeks till my wedding and about a year of planning to do" I went into complete bridezilla panic mode. I have even pulled 2 all nighters working on stuff. It's pretty crazy. I got punished for pulling the all nighter Jake knows about. I shouldn't have done it and it ruined the small amount of time we had together. Got about 80 with the wooden paddle. I was definitely in tears.

The wedding is all coming together, only a few minor details to do and I will be all done. :) :) :)

The DD couple that has helped us through that last few months will be coming to the wedding an Carolyn will actually be IN my wedding!! :)

J has really helped keep me level headed. I have gotten quite a few stern looks in public recently. J has recently become more comfortable with his role in public. We obviously stay vanilla but people are becoming more aware of our roles as Dominate/submissive and I'm happy they are realizing and are accpeting of that.

Goodnight for now!

Getting things straight

Hello Everyone-

My wedding shower is this Sunday. I'm very excited! I can't wait to see all my friends and family. But I'm nervous, I hate being the center of attention, it makes me really uncomfortable. Especially since I recently lost a lot of weight, every time I haven't seen someone in a long time they spend the first 5 minutes in shock of how I look. So I know when everyone sees me there's going to be a lot of fuss about my weight and then constant questions about the wedding. 

So life has been has been a little different lately. As I become more stressed out with the upcoming wedding shower, new job and the wedding itself, Jake has been getting a lot more strict. I have been very high-strung lately which leads me to making rash decisions and being quite snippy.

I have been spanked more times in the last week and a half than I can even remember, but I'm pretty sure it's been almost every day, sometimes twice a day. But as my title says, I think I'm finally getting on track. :) Slowly I'm becoming a little bit more sane as I cross off tasks on my to-do list.

I love DD so much, it has gotten me through a really stressful time of my life. If we were a 'vanilla' couple, I know that there would be so many fights and this household would be very high stress. I'm so lucky to have my fiance. :)